or on the "spiritualization of passion"
or "il faut tuer les passions..."
or "le trappe"
latlely, i've been enamored by an artistc concept...maybe a life lesson...i don't know. some of my older pieces deal with "romantic" love...for any and all things and people...specifically the difficulty and complications involved with maintaing it. the weakness, confusion, pain, and exhaustion.
love, like all passions, is beatiful at first, and feels so good...but in the course of all passion...it becomes an addiction. love becomes painful, love becomes fear, and loss.
all "romantic" love is a razor...sharp, intense, and painful...so then, why love? are we daft, confused, stupid? well, yeah...but that does that matter? of course not. are we all "cutters", self mutilators using love to slice us awake? how can we say we are all not users and manipulaters...cutters?
is love more than the spirtualization of passion? more than addiction to suffering? can you divorce yourself from this process? love without nostalgic afterlife? i don't know. but nietzche, who else, might. so here are some words of the rock star himself...
"All passions have a phase when they are merely disastrous, when they drag down their victim with the weight of stupidity — and a later, very much later phase when they wed the spirit, when they "spiritualize" themselves. Formerly, in view of the element of stupidity in passion, war was declared on passion itself, its destruction was plotted; all the old moral monsters are agreed on this: il faut tuer les passions..."
what of those lost in this cycle? never able to see true love...just "the devils"...only bouncing from one experience of "spirtuality for passion" to the next. never seeing it's effect, never feeling it's true edge. these people i have mercy for...
"The same means in the fight against a craving — castration, extirpation — is instinctively chosen by those who are too weak-willed, too degenerate, to be able to impose moderation on themselves; by those who are so constituted that they require La Trappe, to use a figure of speech, or (without any figure of speech) some kind of definitive declaration of hostility, a cleft between themselves and the passion. Radical means are indispensable only for the degenerate; the weakness of the will — or, to speak more definitely, the inability not to respond to a stimulus — is itself merely another form of degeneration. The radical hostility, the deadly hostility against sensuality, is always a symptom to reflect on: it entitles us to suppositions concerning the total state of one who is excessive in this manner.
This hostility, this hatred, by the way, reaches its climax only when such types lack even the firmness for this radical cure, for this renunciation of their "devil." One should survey the whole history of the priests and philosophers, including the artists: the most poisonous things against the senses have been said not by the impotent, nor by ascetics, but by the impossible ascetics, by those who really were in dire need of being ascetics."
is this ""devil" we must renunciate true love? why renunciate true love?
who knows?
all i can say for sure is...i know that i am guilty, more so, a victim... of all forms of love mutation. to me it all goes together and heightens my experience beyond me...just as a chord sings with the dischord. does this make me martyr, a hopeless, a brat? probably.
my goal...is to use expressive means (art, writing, action, fixt fights, arson, and love) to show how these things are not despicable. these feelings, this experience...these victims, martyrs, and lovers... knife-fighters, thieves, liars, manipulators. why is it wrong to be...someone twisted and engaged by passions. is this not someone in the zenith of true love. is not the devil the greatest lover?
is honour among thieves...that honour is love...love of all those who suffer...and bear the cross of the search of true hearts.
finally, why must we become so afraid as we grow older? why do all we guard ourselves from the bad experiences we have had...the hurts, the passions, the pain. we cast out out "devils"...we lose all ablity to love. are we stupid to yearn for that pain? is dumb to believe that it's worth it everytime? to just get up and say "please punch me in the face...again?
if not, are we moving closer to death every day? do we spend all our love to hold on? or should we spend our love to have...or find...something to hold on too. this "something" can not be a single person or thing. surely, it is the result...the creation...of two...love is born...not made.
oh well, you know they say about soap boxes. but what of the man with the tin foil on his head standing in the center of the highway...
i say he is the true lover?
i hope so...
p.s i apologize for being such a brute, so haughty and opionated. huffing gas, drinking laudanum, and sharing you thoughts on "myspace" can be scary...
this is dedicated...
to all the abusers, liars, users, and manipulatiors out there...
in other words...the lovers.
in other, other words...all of us.
ps...i still love you...all.